Due to events in our little community in Surfers, I discovered that I have a sort of theory on the subject of attraction. It’s not very well thought through yet (I just made it up on the way back from shopping for pancake ingredients with Fraggle last night), but here comes:
I think that there are 3 different types of attraction. When you meet a new person, they instantly fall into one these three categories (which in some changes can be changed at a later time considering changes in situations):
- 1. Friendship attraction- where you have really good chemistry with a person of the opposite sex (or the same if you’re playing for that team:). You think the person is great and you can talk about anything and everything. You might think they’re attractive as well, but for some reason, you’re just not interested in them in ‘that way’. These people you can become really close with and have a lasting friendship with.
- Physical attraction- when you meet a person you think is attractive, and has that extra ‘something’ that makes your chemistry more intense than ‘just’ friendship.. I’m not going to get all ‘ sciency’ on you, but I guess this attraction is mainly run by hormones (aka lust). This attraction can be purely physical, or in some occasions, it can be a part of the feeling ‘love’ (love= when you have romantic feelings for someone- for you that haven’t been lucky enough to experience this:p).
- Romantic attraction- (see above)- when you meet a person that you think is truly amazing, that ‘gets’ you and that you can be totally yourself with. This person you have the two previous attractions with, in addition to having the ability to make your heart race faster, your palms to become slightly sweaty, your legs to tremble and to create fireworks… (ah, the beauty of love:p).
Sometimes these 3 different attractions can disguise themselves as one of the others, or the lines can become blurry, and that’s when things can get complicated.. In this case, the best thing is probably either to ‘take it as it comes’ and just go with it for as long as it’s working, or have a talk to make sure you’re on the same page. I also think that feelings are more or less mutual (a person might think they’re more or less than they are, but in the end chemistry is something between two people, not from one to another). I know people are different and feel and act in different ways, but in the end I think that people more or less are on the same page (even if they’re not aware of it at a certain time:). I.e. when someone wants to break up, it’s normally one that’s more upset and sad about it, but in the end when they get past the initial hurt or ‘hit’ to their pride, they too discover that it worked out for the better. Or on the other hand, if one person think they have feelings for someone that’s not retaliating their feelings, it’s probably just a small crush that will pass eventually… I know it’s almost impossible to distinguish between the 3 attractions at all times, but maybe this can help a little? 😉
Dr. Love (aka Sinagogen:p)